I put a lot of effort to prepare for our date. I expect the same from you. I will always be freshly showered, groomed, and elegantly dressed, ready to enjoy you and our escapade.

Impeccable hygiene is non-negotiable. If I am meeting you for an outcall, please be freshly showered with minty breath. In the case of an incall, I will ask that you shower upon arrival. I will have clean towels, mouthwash, and a hypoallergenic body wash available for you. Do make sure to use them. I will refuse to see anyone who isn’t serious about their hygiene and your donation will not be refunded. I reserve the right to end our session before the agreed upon time if you disrespect me, my boundaries, or show signs of transmissible diseases.

Upon arriving, please hand me the donation in cash in an unsealed enveloppe, card, book, or small gift bag. Please do not make me ask for it as it sets an awkward tone and I want our time together to be as enjoyable as possible. You can also set it upon an easily visible surface such as a table. If you think there is a possibility you might want to extend our encounter, have the necessary amount available on hand. I will not accept e-transfers or cryptocurrency in this case.

I completely understand that sometimes life just happens. If you are late to your appointment, I ask that you let me know as soon as possible. The same goes for cancellations. Please refer to my donation page to learn about my cancellation policy. It also applies for those who do not attend without warning me. If you choose not to pay the cancellation fee, I will refuse to see you in the future. Your time is valuable and mine is as well.

If you desire for us to share a drink in private, I ask that it comes from a new bottle and be poured in front of me. Please do not have it ready for me as I arrive as I will turn it down. I would hate being rude so let’s just avoid this type of unpleasantness altogether.

I only see respectful and kind people. As such, if you did not receive a reply from me after filling out my form, it may be because your tone was unpleasant, you purposefully didn’t include the required information, or asked for services I do not offer.

There is certainly a thrill to the chase, but not in the case of booking. I will not run after you. I will not answer if you do not provide all the required information (ex: write only the first name and use a single letter for the last name such as John B.) Be assured that I always check references - vigorously so - and will not accept them if they are older than 12 months, no exceptions. Do not contact me and then try to convince me to meet for a coffee, have a Facetime call, or indulge in any other methods I do not accept. I might respond with a meme. I particularly like the one with the spray bottle and the word no in big red letters underneath.

To paraphrase the visionary movie Mean Girls: let’s all get along like we used to in middle school and bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles so everyone will eat and be happy.